Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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