would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
