I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
