I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
