Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hippo gnu deer
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
