Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
