just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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