I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize