I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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