she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
