nut hugger
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
