He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I believe in your delicious
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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