Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
