I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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