i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
