a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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