My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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