I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
