Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
