oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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