Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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