I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
