He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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