Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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