went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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