Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
