I'm really into asian looking animals
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Can Purell be used as lube?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize