i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
