I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't deserve a penis
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize