what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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