sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
