that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
