think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
