did you get engaged???
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
