they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Randomize
