does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
