is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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