its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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