his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Im part way to drunk.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
