Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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