I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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