Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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