His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
