I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
50% drunk capacity currently
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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