I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
