Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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