Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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