Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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