i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
