so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
