You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
