i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
