Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
