Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
