On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
