So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
