i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
