just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
