Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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